Thursday 20 November 2008

Insomnia, Toilet Duck and a change of clothes!!??

In line with what now seems to be an regular occurrence I had trouble getting to sleep last night. Now I don't know if this is the onset of insomnia, me stressing about something or just that my wife needs to buy some of those nose strips to stop her snoring.

What ever the reason is I found myself lying in bed staring up at the ceiling in the middle of night. As this was such a very exciting way to spend the night, nature got the better of me me and I had to go and 'spend a penny'. Not wishing to go into detail I will skip what occurred in the following 5 minutes, needless to say it involved me sitting down!!

Anyway, when I finished I got off the throne and pulled my PJ's up. Unfortunately in the process of doing so I clipped the seat with the back of my PJ's and the damn thing banged. All of a sudden I was dragged backed to my younger days when I would be creeping into the house trying not to wake my parents up after being out on the lash all night. Every single sound is magnified hundreds of times, because of this I froze with my figures crossed hoping that I hadn't woken up my daughter who was asleep in the next room. Phew...., I gotten away with it.

I went back to the bedroom and got back into bed next to my sleeping, and still snoring wife. Despite being in the bedroom I couldn't help but notice that there was an overwhelming smell of the bathroom. This puzzled me, but not enough to distract me from trying to get to sleep.

30 minutes later I was still awake, getting more frustrated by the second and there was still this smell of the bathroom. Because I had been tossing and turning for the last half an hour I was now getting hot and sweaty so I decided to take of my PJ's to try and cool down. It was at this point that I found out why I could smell nothing but the bathroom. Hooked on the back of my PJ bottoms was the flaming toilet duck thing that you hook over the side of the pan. When I had pulled up my bottoms they must have caught on the toilet duck.

Of course I had been lying on it for the last 30 minutes whilst tossing & turning, as a result my PJ's were covered in the stuff as was the sheets, the duvet and me. Luckily I had a pack of baby wipes next to the bed (for my daughter, not me!)so I managed to get cleaned up. Because of the mess made I obviously couldn't sleep in my PJ's or the bed, so I changed into a pair of jogging bottoms, grabbed my pillow, and went and slept on the sofa bed.

What about my wife....., I left her to sleep and as a result she had a lovely aroma of Toilet Duck when she got up in the morning.

Friday 14 November 2008

Degrees of fatality!?

You'll be glad to know this is not going to be a long post, just thought I'd let you know something that was said by one of my colleagues.

This particular colleague was late into work this morning because there had been an accident on one of the roads into Douglas. They didn't actually see the accident happen or the aftermath as they turned around and took a different route. Anyway later on this morning I had a look on one of the local websites to see if there was a report about the accident. There was and when I told my colleague the details they said "I hope that there were no serious fatalities!"

Now the last time I checked there was only one type of fatality... and that is a very serious one.

Needless to say my colleague has been duly ridiculed and it has kept me amused for the whole morning.

Friday 7 November 2008

Where in the Higway code can I find........

....where it tells you the size of car you should have.

I figure there must be a section on this that I missed when I was taking may test several years ago. Well at least that's my theory anyway.

How else can you explain the phenomenon of big people, by which I mean obese & tall, buying the smallest possible car on the market.

This has puzzled me for a while now. I often see them in Tescos car park after doing their fortnightly shop.., well I assume it's fortnightly as the amount they're buying would certainly last me 2 weeks. They cram all that food, the cleaning products and whatever else they have bought into the back of their car. They then go to the car door pull out their shoe horn or crow bar and wedge themselves into their stupid little Smart car or Micra.

Surely from a comfort point of view you would want to get a car that you don't need to rub the tub of Flora you've just bought all over yourself to get in. I don't want to sound cruel or anything but surely they can't of thought "that's the car for me" when they walked into the Micra dealership. Maybe there should be some sort of legislation passed by government so that there is some duty of care placed on car salesmen. Or maybe one of those signs that you get at the funfair, you know the ones "If you are under this height you can't go on the ride". You would obviously have to change the wording on it.

Now I used to think that this strange occurrence was limited to the larger of the species, that was until this morning. I was crossing the road outside work and a BMW X5 went past, now for those of you who aren't petrol heads these are BIG 4x4s, anyway I took a good look as I do like the X5. To my disbelief the X5 appeared to be on auto pilot as I couldn't see any one behind the wheel. It was only when it was right in front of me that I could see that there was someone behind the wheel. The only thing was they were tiny, not much bigger than a 4 year old child.

Why on earth would someone so small by such a big car..., I just don't understand. The poor man could hardly see over the wheel, I bet if he got stopped by the Police they would have to help him off his booster seat and out of the car to question him.

...so if anyone can point me in the direction of the section in the Highway code I can make sure that I have the right size car.

Monday 3 November 2008

A long waffle.....sorry.

Due to popular demand...., well more like hassle from one particular person (you know who you are) I have pulled my finger out and found time to write a new post. I'm not planning to right about anything in particular, although it may turn out that way by the end, I'm just going to ramble about what ever pops into my head.

Well first of all I think I need to apologise, I didn't realise that it had been over a month since I last posted. Since then a fare few things have happened, my daughter has had her first birthday, I've finally managed to pay off my credit card, Halloween has been and gone with bonfire night fast approaching, Lewis Hamilton has won the F1 wold championship and something has managed to put a hole in our conservatory roof during the winds.

So in no particular order........

Credit cards are a pain in the arse..., don't get me wrong they are very useful but once you start to use them you tend to get on a very slippery slope which get more difficult to get off the longer time goes on. When I first got my credit card I told myself it was for me to use in case of an emergency or for when I was on holiday. As far as I know paying for a day trip to Liverpool shopping and spending £200 on a night out every weekend doesn't count as an emergency. Luckily I manage to drag myself out of that particular hole with the help of a personal loan, although the bank did sell me another credit card when I went into get the loan???!!! I managed to justify to myself that I was young, foolish and didn't know any better. That might have worked when I was 21 but it didn't quite ring true the second time round when I was 26/27 and also had a mortgage to pay.

Sorry, i just realised how utterly depressing this is sounding, especially considering the current economic goings on. I shall shorten this story considerably by saying I have now completely paid of the credit card and have managed to keep the balance at zero for two months now. This has resulted in a very nice and healthy looking balance on my current account. Yippee !!!!

On the 4Th October my little princess turn 1, which just seems crazy. It feels like it was only yesterday when me and Lynsey were coming out of the hospital to take her home. She was all wrapped up under some blankets that a family friend had knitted especially for her. She looked so cosy and warm in her car seat and I had such an overwhelming feeling of pride and happiness. A year later and she continues to make me so happy and now she has her own personality a day doesn't pass when she makes me laugh for one reason or another. I sometimes find myself sitting staring at her still wondering if this is just a dream or whether I have actually made this beautiful perfect little person. Thankfully it isn't a dream and I have made this perfect person, with a little help from Lynsey of course.

Halloween was a bit of a non event for me this year, well in terms of Hop-Tu-naa any way. I went out on the Friday to a mates house to have a night of Texas Hold em with the boys. Considering I haven't played for almost a year I was quite happy with the result, I didn't win but I was not the first out by a long way. Considering I was out till the early hours of Saturday morning and I only lost £20 it was a good night. The only downside for the evening was that it did finish so late. I know that I just said that this was a good thing but there is a reason for me contradicting myself. My Mother-in-law had come up to the house to keep Lynsey company and as it was Halloween they had planned to spend the evening watching 'Most Haunted Live'. As any dutiful son-in-law could see this was an opportunity for a good prank. My plan was to creep back after poker, this was in the assumption I would get knocked out early, and get into the house through the back door. I would then wait for the perfect moment to burst through the door into the lounge and scare the Sh1t out of the both of them. But as the saying goes, 'best laid plans...etc'

Well my Sunday ended with me first shouting abuse at the TV, or more accurately Lewis Hamilton and then bouncing around on the sofa in absolute joy when he then proceeded to take back 5th place on the second to last corner. What a finish!!
I'd felt pretty nervous for the whole race, the only time I had felt like this before was when I was racing myself. Unfortunately this wasn't in F1 but that's a different story. By the time that last 10 laps started I was in a complete mess but all came good in the end and I can now look forward to next years championship.

Well I don't know about you but my eyes are sore after typing all of that so apologies if your feeling the same after reading it. I'd also like to say congratulations for getting all the way to the end with out falling asleep.

One final thing, I finally managed to catch up with a good friend today who was back on the Island. He's been back a few times since he moved to the big rock across the water but for one reason or another we haven't managed to meet up before today. Hopefully it won't be so long till the next time we see each other and hopefully we will be able to catch up properly and reminisce about our HSBC days.

Saturday 20 September 2008

Night Race

Well it's less than a week until the first "night race" in F1 history and I'm really excited. Not because it's a night race but because it is a new 'true' street curcuit. I know that we have had the Valencia GP but that neither used day to day roads or was anything like the traditional street race..., except the lack ofovertaking.

To be honest everyone is making alot of the "night race" gimmick, which is wat it is. If you actually look at what the organisors have done in the way of lighting the qualiy of light will actually be better than daylight! So from a drivers point of view they won't notice any difference! There won't be one inch of track unlit and there won't even be any shadows cast on the track because of the way that the lighting is constructed.

So while I think it is great that it's at night, because I won't have to get up at some stupid time in the morning, I don't think it's going to make that mugh of a difference.

Friday 12 September 2008

Aaargh!!!


Aaargh!!!

I needed that!

Thursday 11 September 2008

I must have been mad!!

I was at work yesterday chatting with a friend, trying to pass the time until I could go home. The conversation turned to fishing, don't ask me why but it did, anyway we agreed we would go down to Peel and see if we had any luck.

After about an hour of fishing it became very apparent that this had been an extremely bad idea. Not only were the seals out in force, meaning you had to race to get any fish on the end of your line on dry land before the seal took it. But the wind and rain were so bad you could have been mistaken in thinking hurricane Ike had taken a slight diversion.

I must admit I did know there was a good chance of rain, and I was wearing my nice big waterproof coat, but even this let me down as within no time at all I found myself soaked to the skin. I could of put up with the rain but the wind, the wind was something else. At one point it was that strong and swirling round the lighthouse at the end of the pier that much a water spout was forming in one of the bigger puddles.

Needless to say this put an end to our little fishing trip, and we all trudged off to our cars and off home.

On the plus side I did catch 4 fish!!

Thursday 21 August 2008

Wages

This is a subject which I'm sure is close to many people's hearts. Now before I write anymore about this I want to make it perfectly clear that I, as most people would, want to get as much money as I can for the job I do. Although money doesn't bring you happiness (allegedly!!)it certainly makes life a little easier when you have enough of it. And there it is, the key word...'Enough'. What is enough? Are some people worthy of getting paid more than others? I certainly think that there are, if you take Soldiers, emergency services and many other people who either risk their lives or provide an essential service. These are the sort of people who deserve to get paid more than everyone else. It makes me angry.., actually it makes me sad, that you have nurses who have to struggle financially when you then have a sportsman earning more than 5 times in a week that they would earn in a year.

And this is why I am having a rant about this. I was reading an article on the Internet in which the chairman of Reading FC said that the wages of players were "obscene in the extreme". It will come as no surprise to you that I totally agree with him. The question is what do we, or more importantly can we do about it? As expected this article attracted lots of comments the majority of which were in agreement with him. However the solutions that they all gave differed wildly.

The most popular solution was to put a cap on the wages but how this was to be done was also a source for disagreement. It was also pointed out that even if the wages were capped there was no way of ensure that these savings would be passed onto the fans of the sport. Let's face it football is no longer a sport, it is run as a business and if the 'companies' can make a bit of extra money they will.

I have my own thoughts of how the issue of players wages should be resolved and I'm sure that there will be people who will disagree with me. You never know though some might also agree with what I'm going to say.

My proposal has several steps to it and at first viewing may seem complicated, I apologise for this.

TV Money - There is no questions that this brings a massive amount of revenue into football. The problem is that the 'Big clubs' pounce on this money and share it out amongst themselves with nothing left for the rest of football. Solution: All TV money is paid to the FA, after all it is them who governs the game. The FA would then have the responsibility of dividing this up in a more appropriate way. Say 40% to be allocated to 'Grass roots' football, towards better facilities / support for English football. The next 30% could be divided equally between the Championship, League 1 & 2, this would then be further split equally between the teams in these leagues. Another 20% could be shared amongst the teams in the Premiership, as much as I hate to admit it these boys are the ones who bring in most of the money. What about the remaining 10%? Well that's easy this can be put aside to form an emergency fund for clubs that are in serious financial difficulty or having some other kind of problem.

Gate Money - This is where serious changes can be made to benefit the fans. Place a cap on ticket prices, it sounds simple doesn't it? The beauty of it is that by capping the ticket prices the clubs will be forced into lowering their expenditure, including player wages.

Player / Manager Wages - A cap on the players / managers wages still needs to be imposed otherwise clubs who have rich backers would still be able to pay high wages even though they are getting less revenue from the gates. The cap on the players wages could be in 3/4 tiers and be linked to the time he has spent at the club. This would encourage players to only move clubs for footballing reasons and not financial.

£20,000.00 / week - up to 2 years
£30,000.00 / week - +2 years
£40,000.00 / week - +4 years
£60,000.00 / week - over 5 years

I think that a similar structure could be imposed on managers as you now have some managers who are earning just as much as the players these days.

Merchandise - This is another big source of revenue for clubs and also where some clubs take the p*** on their prices. Whilst it would be difficult to put a cap on prices something does need to be done to ensure that they don't get silly. There is an argument that it is because of the players that the shirts are sold and I do agree with this. Therefore why not allow the players to get a % of shirts sold with there name / number on. This would therefore provide them with extra income linked directly with their popularity due to how they are performing.

Now this is all very well but it would have to be brought in worldwide because otherwise all the players would move over to whichever country would pay their stupid wages. Whilst this does seem initially to be a negative i think it can easily be made positive.

Look at the state of our international team and then compare it to some where like Italy or Germany. In comparison those countries have a much higher percentage of home grown talent, where as the Premiership has something like 30% English players. So if all the foreigners and the so called 'Big players' within the current England team go else where then all of the clubs will only have home grown talent left. This will have a positive effect on the England team as these players will improve now that they get to play more regular football.

So there you go, it's easy. All we have to do is completely change the way football is run!!!

Monday 18 August 2008

Welcome

I have just spent the last 20 minutes setting up my profile, writing my 'About Me' section, choosing the layout of my blog and all the other stuff I had to do before I could actually post something. I must confess that now that I have waded through all of this I'm not entirely sure of what I am going to right about.

I first stumbled across this site when a friend had a link to his blog on his facebook page. At this point I must highly recommend giving his blog a read (http://geoff-the-idiot.blogspot.com/), after reading the first couple of posts on his blog I was completely hooked. Over the last few months I have found them to be a great source of humour, of thought prevoking tales and of just a way of keeping in touch with an old friend. Over the last few weeks the enjoyment I have experienced by reading his blogs has been replaced by something else, something new to me. I have been inspired, inspired to write my own blog. Now I don't know how long this will last, whether it will be a flash in the pan or whether I will still be sat here in my 40s tapping away on the keys of my laptop. I've never been into writing down my thoughts or anything else for that matter so this really will be interesting, for me anyway, as to how long this will continue to get update.