In line with what now seems to be an regular occurrence I had trouble getting to sleep last night. Now I don't know if this is the onset of insomnia, me stressing about something or just that my wife needs to buy some of those nose strips to stop her snoring.
What ever the reason is I found myself lying in bed staring up at the ceiling in the middle of night. As this was such a very exciting way to spend the night, nature got the better of me me and I had to go and 'spend a penny'. Not wishing to go into detail I will skip what occurred in the following 5 minutes, needless to say it involved me sitting down!!
Anyway, when I finished I got off the throne and pulled my PJ's up. Unfortunately in the process of doing so I clipped the seat with the back of my PJ's and the damn thing banged. All of a sudden I was dragged backed to my younger days when I would be creeping into the house trying not to wake my parents up after being out on the lash all night. Every single sound is magnified hundreds of times, because of this I froze with my figures crossed hoping that I hadn't woken up my daughter who was asleep in the next room. Phew...., I gotten away with it.
I went back to the bedroom and got back into bed next to my sleeping, and still snoring wife. Despite being in the bedroom I couldn't help but notice that there was an overwhelming smell of the bathroom. This puzzled me, but not enough to distract me from trying to get to sleep.
30 minutes later I was still awake, getting more frustrated by the second and there was still this smell of the bathroom. Because I had been tossing and turning for the last half an hour I was now getting hot and sweaty so I decided to take of my PJ's to try and cool down. It was at this point that I found out why I could smell nothing but the bathroom. Hooked on the back of my PJ bottoms was the flaming toilet duck thing that you hook over the side of the pan. When I had pulled up my bottoms they must have caught on the toilet duck.
Of course I had been lying on it for the last 30 minutes whilst tossing & turning, as a result my PJ's were covered in the stuff as was the sheets, the duvet and me. Luckily I had a pack of baby wipes next to the bed (for my daughter, not me!)so I managed to get cleaned up. Because of the mess made I obviously couldn't sleep in my PJ's or the bed, so I changed into a pair of jogging bottoms, grabbed my pillow, and went and slept on the sofa bed.
What about my wife....., I left her to sleep and as a result she had a lovely aroma of Toilet Duck when she got up in the morning.
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